Depression Stage of Grief: Signs and How to Cope

Grief is an unpredictable storm. It rolls in unexpectedly, settling deep in your bones, making the world feel heavier than it did before. You’re not just sad—you’re exhausted, numb, and maybe even hopeless. This is the depression stage of grief, a natural response to loss that can feel impossible to move through. But you’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay stuck here.

Understanding what this stage looks like and how to face it will make a difference. Grief isn’t something to be fixed, but there are ways to find relief, even if it’s just enough to get through the next hour. Let’s talk about what this stage really means, what signs to look out for, and what coping strategies help.

What Is the Depression Stage of Grief?

The depression stage of grief is when sadness, numbness, and a deep sense of loss take hold. It often follows the bargaining stage and feels like the hardest part of grieving. Unlike clinical depression, this stage is directly tied to loss and does improve with time, support, and healthy coping mechanisms.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first introduced the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—in her book On Death and Dying. While not everyone experiences grief in a linear fashion, depression is often one of the longest and most intense stages.

Harvard Medicine Magazine features an article titled “The Profound Sadness of Prolonged Grief,” which discusses how normal grief can, in some cases, develop into prolonged grief disorder, necessitating professional intervention.

Also, the Harvard Medical School Center for Palliative Care provides resources on bereavement, highlighting the importance of recognizing and addressing prolonged grief disorder.

How Does the Depression Stage of Grief Feel?

Grief doesn’t move in a straight line. It twists, turns, and sometimes takes you by surprise. One morning, you might wake up and feel like yourself again. Next, even brushing your teeth feels impossible. Dr. Susan Hollander, PhD, explains that grief isn’t just sadness—it’s an emotional weight that settles into the body, making everyday life feel unfamiliar.

You might find yourself staring at your morning coffee, letting it go cold because you can’t find the energy to take a sip. The hobbies you once loved—painting, gardening, reading—now seem like distant memories of a person you used to be. Friends might invite you out, and though you want to say yes, the thought of conversation feels exhausting.

During this stage, many people experience:

• A sadness that lingers like an overcast sky, making everything feel muted
• A heaviness in the body, where even getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain
• A loss of interest in things that once brought joy—music, laughter, even simple pleasures like a favorite meal
• A voice in the back of your mind whispering guilt, replaying old memories with an ache of ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’
• Nights filled with restlessness, lying awake long after the world has gone quiet
• A body that aches in places you never noticed before—tight shoulders, a pit in your stomach, a tension that never seems to ease
• A sense of being outside of life, watching the world move while you stand still

Even though this stage feels isolating, you are not alone in this experience. Many people have walked this road and found their way back to moments of peace. The weight of grief may never fully disappear, but over time, you will learn how to carry it with more ease. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making space for both love and loss, for sorrow and joy, and for the possibility of light, even in the darkest moments.

For some, grief-related depression naturally eases over time, but for others, a genetic predisposition to depression may contribute to a longer and more intense experience. If you’re curious about the role of genetics in depression, this article explores the science behind it.

How Long Does the Depression Stage of Grief Last?

There is no set timeline for grief. Some people move through the depression stage in weeks, while for others, it lasts months. It’s widely recognized in the mental health community that grief’s intensity often decreases as time progresses. However, occasions such as anniversaries or holidays can trigger temporary feelings of grief. For instance, the American Psychiatric Association notes that while most individuals adapt to loss over time, some may experience prolonged and intense grief, especially when faced with reminders of their loved ones.

If depression remains severe after a year, it may indicate prolonged grief disorder, a recognized mental health condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Seeking professional help can be beneficial if grief is disrupting daily life beyond what feels manageable. 

Learn more about therapy services.

What Are the Best Coping Skills for the Depression Stage of Grief?

Coping with grief is about finding what works for you. There’s no “right” way, but these strategies will help:

• Acknowledge your grief. Pushing feelings down only makes them stronger. Give yourself permission to feel sad, lost, or even angry.
• Talk to someone. Whether it’s a friend, family member, therapist, or grief support group, sharing your emotions can lighten the burden.
• Maintain daily routines. The structure provides a sense of normalcy, even when life feels chaotic.
• Move your body. Gentle exercise, even a short walk, releases endorphins that will ease depressive symptoms.
• Journal your thoughts. Writing helps process emotions and can bring clarity to overwhelming feelings.
• Seek spiritual or religious guidance. If faith plays a role in your life, connecting with spiritual leaders or engaging in prayer can be a comforting experience.
• Consider professional support. Dr. Susan Hollander offers online therapy options to provide support wherever you are. 

Learn more about online therapy.

When Should You Seek Professional Help?

Grief can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of self-care. Therapy offers a compassionate space to process your emotions and find ways to move forward, even when it feels impossible.

If you notice any of the following, it may be time to reach out for support:

If grief feels unbearable or doesn’t improve with time, reaching out for support is a sign of strength. You should consider therapy if you:

• Feel hopeless or have thoughts of self-harm
• Can’t complete daily tasks like going to work or taking care of yourself
• Experience intense guilt or believe you should have “done more”
• Feel disconnected from reality or the people around you
• Have been grieving intensely for over a year with no relief

A therapist will help you develop tools to manage grief, offering guidance and reassurance when emotions feel unmanageable. If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek immediate support. You are not alone, and help is available. Call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text HELLO to 741741 for free, 24/7 support from trained professionals.

If you’re ready to explore therapy as part of your healing journey, Dr. Susan Hollander offers compassionate online therapy options. Learn more and reach out today.

Is It Normal to Feel Hopeless in the Depression Stage of Grief?

Yes, but it won’t last forever. The depression stage makes it feel like joy is permanently out of reach, but grief is not a life sentence. Research indicates that with time, social support, and therapeutic interventions, many individuals find ways to live with their loss while rediscovering moments of peace.

For instance, a study published in BMC Palliative Care found that approximately 47.2% of young adults experienced unresolved grief 2–10 years after losing a sibling to cancer. In comparison, 52.8% had worked through their grief. The study also highlighted that higher personal resilience and social support were associated with better adjustment to grief.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one. It means learning to carry their memory differently, in a way that allows you to move forward while still honoring what was lost.

Depression can make relationships feel strained, especially when grief is involved. If you’re worried about how your grief is affecting your partner or loved ones, this guide offers compassionate advice.

How Can Therapy Help in the Grieving Process?

Grief can feel like wandering through a dense fog—you know you need to move forward, but every step is exhausting. Therapy provides a gentle hand to guide you, offering a space where your emotions are safe, understood, and honored. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning to carry love and loss together in a way that allows you to keep living.

A therapist can help by:

1. Creating a space where you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. You don’t have to hold it all in or worry about being a burden.
2. Teaching gentle ways to navigate overwhelming emotions. Some days, you may feel like you’re drowning in sadness. A therapist can help you find moments of calm within the storm.
3. Helping you process guilt, anger, and the ‘what-ifs.’ Grief is rarely straightforward. It’s tangled up with regrets, unanswered questions, and emotions that don’t make sense.
4. Preventing grief from becoming something that controls your life. While grief is natural, prolonged, and unprocessed, grief becomes isolating and all-consuming.
5. Connecting you with support systems. You don’t have to do this alone. Whether through therapy, grief groups, or simply having someone to check in with, support can make all the difference.

Dr. Susan Hollander understands that grief is deeply personal, and therapy should reflect that. Whether you need a space to talk, practical coping strategies, or just reassurance that you’re not alone, she’s here to help. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk this path alone.

Finding Hope in Healing

Grief is one of the most challenging experiences we face, but it doesn’t have to be a journey you walk alone. Healing takes time, and while the pain may never fully disappear, it becomes something you carry with more ease. With support, whether from friends, family, or a therapist, you will rediscover moments of peace and joy.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. There is hope. There is help. And there is a way forward. You deserve support, comfort, and understanding as you face this journey.

Get Support Today

If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing process, Dr. Susan Hollander is here to help. She offers compassionate therapy tailored to your needs, whether in-person or online.

Learn more about what to expect from therapy, or contact Dr. Hollander today to begin your journey toward healing.

If you’re in the depression stage of grief and feel stuck, you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here to help. Schedule a session today, and let’s talk about what you need. Grief may change your world, but you still deserve moments of light, love, and healing.

Frequently Asked Questions About Grief

Does everyone experience grief the same way?

No, everyone experiences grief differently. While Kübler-Ross’s five stages provide a general framework, grief is a deeply personal and unique experience. Some people may move through the stages quickly, while others take more time to progress. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

What are the seven stages of grief?

Beyond Kübler-Ross’s five stages, some models expand on the grieving process to include:

• Shock
• Disbelief
• Pain
• Guilt
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression,
• An upward turn
• Reconstruction
• Acceptance

These models help illustrate how grief evolves.

Is it normal to feel physical pain while grieving?

Yes, grief is not just emotional—it can manifest physically, too. Many people experience headaches, digestive issues, fatigue, or muscle tension. These symptoms are a natural response to emotional pain and loss. Prioritizing rest, hydration, and self-care will help ease some of the discomfort.

What if my grief doesn’t seem to improve over time?

If grief continues to feel overwhelming for an extended period, it might be helpful to seek support. The American Psychiatric Association recognizes prolonged grief disorder as a condition where intense grief persists for a year or more, disrupting daily life. Speaking with a therapist can provide relief and help you develop coping tools.

What is the final stage of grief?

The final stage of grief is acceptance. This does not mean forgetting your loved one or feeling ‘okay’ with the loss. Instead, it means finding ways to live with the grief while still experiencing moments of joy and connection.

How can I support someone who is grieving?

Offer them patience, a listening ear, and practical help. Sometimes, small gestures—like cooking a meal, running errands, or simply sitting with them—can mean the most. Encourage them to seek support if needed.

When should I seek professional help for grief?

If grief is affecting your ability to function in everyday life, therapy will help. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you’re unsure where to start, Dr. Susan Hollander offers compassionate therapy services.