Conceived Family Counseling in Englewood

The journey of donor-conceived family life is rarely straightforward and challenging situations are inevitable. Whichever personal connection you hold as a donor-conceived individual, a parent, or a family member, I truly understand the unique feelings and challenges you may face. 

There are a number of important questions that arise from being part of a donor-conceived family:

• Your identity and self understanding
• Relationships with parents and family
• Emotional responses and processing
• Future decisions

As someone who has used a sperm donor to welcome my own child, I offer both personal experiences and professional insights to help guide you through this sensitive journey. Let’s explore this together!

1. Disclosure Decisions:
• Struggling with when, how, or whether to tell their child about their donor-conceived origins.
• Fearing the child’s reaction and potential impact on the parent-child relationship.
2. Guilt and Shame:
• Feeling guilty or ashamed for not being the biological parent or for needing to use a donor.
• Concerns about how societal or familial judgment may affect their family.
3. Anxiety About the Child’s Future:
• Worrying about how the child will perceive their conception story and whether it will affect their sense of belonging.
• Concerns about the potential impact on the child’s identity, self-esteem, and psychological well-being.
4. Navigating Legal and Ethical Complexities:
• Dealing with legal uncertainties, such as the donor’s rights or obligations and the family’s privacy.
• Ethical dilemmas regarding whether to seek information about the donor or potential donor siblings.
5. Relationship Stress:
• Managing stress in the relationship with their partner, particularly if one partner is not the biological parent.
• Concerns about maintaining a united front and providing consistent support to the child.

1. Maintaining Family Cohesion:
• Balancing the needs and emotions of all family members while maintaining a sense of unity and togetherness.
• Managing potential conflicts that arise from differing views on donor conception.
2. Secrecy vs. Transparency:
• The dilemma of whether to keep the donor conception a private matter or be open about it with others.
• The impact of secrecy on family dynamics, trust, and communication.
3. Dealing with External Judgment:
• Facing societal or cultural judgment about the decision to use a donor, which can affect the family’s sense of security and self-worth.
• Navigating insensitive comments or intrusive questions from outsiders.
4. Adjusting to the “New Normal”:
• Adapting to the evolving understanding of what it means to be a family in the context of donor conception.
• Ensuring that the family narrative accommodates the donor-conceived child’s feelings and identity.

If any or many of these questions and situations feel familiar then it’s likely time to consider reaching out to a professional. There is no shame in realizing that seeking help is the best option for you and your family. Having been there and done that, I can personally tell you that accepting outside assistance can make a huge positive difference!

How I Support Your Family

Every family is unique, so I tailor my counseling to your specific needs. My approach is collaborative and inclusive, making sure that everyone feels heard and respected. Parenting therapy is offered as well as individual therapy for those who may need more personal time to explore their current situation. I use therapeutic techniques tailored to meet the unique needs of each family.

• Psychodynamic Psychotherapy uncovers deep emotions and unconscious processes that affect behavior.
• Mindfulness Practices focus on staying present and managing stress.
• Inner Child Healing addresses past emotional wounds.

These approaches create a supportive environment. Every family member feels heard, valued, and respected as we work through challenges.

Your journey starts with an initial consultation, where we’ll discuss your family’s unique needs and set clear, achievable goals. Therapy sessions are typically held weekly and last about 45 minutes. These sessions are a safe space for everyone to express their feelings and work through challenges together. Read more about what to expect.

If you find yourself unable to make time to come to see me in person then I also offer teletherapy sessions.

“Family is not defined by our genes, it is built and maintained through love.” – Amalia G.

The Johnson family came to me struggling with how to discuss donor conception with their young daughter. They were worried about how this conversation might affect their relationship. Through our sessions, we developed a communication strategy that felt natural and supportive for everyone involved. The result was a stronger family bond, with their daughter feeling secure in her identity and loved by her parents.

If you’re ready to strengthen your family’s connection, I’m here to help. Taking this step is a positive move toward healing and growth. Contact me today to schedule your initial consultation, and together, we’ll create a path to healing and understanding.

I’m located in Englewood, Colorado. Reach out to me at 303 220 8400 or slhollanderphd@gmail.com to schedule your consultation. For more information, visit my website. I’m here to support you every step of the way.